A little bit rant, a little bit rejoice!

Okay, a little background to both.  Obviously we're trying to have a baby.  We've had three pregnancies and three miscarriages (the most recent one the day before our anniversary).  With 3 miscarriages you are no longer someone with "bad luck" but now someone with an "issue" that the doctors start to take a little more seriously. 

Not to say that my current doctor isn't amazing, she is.  She's been very proactive since my first visit with her a year ago in October.  At the first visit she discovered my Thyroid issues and had me see a General Practitioner to get put on medication.  After the second pregnancy (and then miscarriage) she upped that medication and put me on Progesterone for a future pregnancy.  With the most recent pregnancy I was on Progesterone 2 times a day.  But again, it ended in miscarriage. 

At the appointment to finish everything with that up we discussed next steps.  Those being tests, and lots of them.  She mentioned some slightly scary words (Lupus) and told me to call the office when I got my next period.  Let me tell you, the next 4 weeks seemed to take FOREVER.  And Google certainly was not my friend during that time.  It should not be allowed to research medical topics on your own.  All it does is freak you out and make you think you have all sorts of horrible diseases.  I had convinced myslef that I had Lupus in that month.  I had all of the symptoms.

There, that's it.  Blood work not necessary Doctor, I've got it all figured out.

Or so I thought.  I had said blood work done on November 8th (8 vials of blood, people. 8.)  and was told to make an appointment to go over all of the findings for 2 weeks later.  So I made an appointment for the 23rd.  And I thought waiting for my period felt like forever. And then this past Tuesday they called to say they had the results and wanted me to come in the next day.  Awesome!  Although the urgency didn't help my wandering mind.  I spent Tuesday night convincing myself even more of my own Lupus diagnosis.

So, yesterday I met with the doctor. And a few of my fears were squashed! One, obviously, Lupus.  The second, was that they wouldn't find anything at all and we would have no answers. 

Well folks, we have some answers! I have a gene mutation called, get ready for it, Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase or MTHFR.  Lee is referring to it as Mother F*cker cause he likes the sound of that better.  So what does this mean?  My body doesn't metabolise Folic Acid the way it is supposed to and apparently Folic Acid is pretty important in the baby brewing process.  And, not only did we get some answers folks, we got some solutions!!! Double bonus!  I now have to take 4 mg of Folic Acid daily (the average dose is less than 1 mg-they don't even make 4 mg pills so I get to take 4 1 mg pills a day!).  Also one of the MANY tests for Lupus did come back a little bit on the positive side, which basically means my body has some issues with blood clotting that could interfere with the placenta and it's attachment to the uterus.  So, I also get to take baby Aspirin daily too! 

So, this brings my daily pill popping habit up to a whopping 8 pills daily! One for the Thyroid, 2 pre-natal vitamins, 4 Folic Acid pills and 1 baby aspirin!  Whew!

All in all, I am very excited to have some answers that come with pretty easy fixes.  The doctor was VERY optimistic too.  She wants a full month's worth of all of this in my system before we get to try again, and while I'm very anxious to get started again, I know waiting a little longer is only for the best.

Now, for my rant.  EVERYONE is pregnant.  And while the above news has taken some of the sting out of that, I'm having an especially hard time with the people (okay, one person in particular-but I'm not naming names) on Facebook who post CONSTANTLY about their pregnancies.  This person has one child already (and for some reason people who are already on baby #2 when I can't even get 1 down are really bugging the sh*t out of me) and her and I would have had the same due date before the most recent miscarriage.  She "outed" herself on FB a couple weeks ago and ever since she posts practically hourly updates on the state of her stomach or the fact that she's tired, nauseous and/or her clothes don't fit.  I would give ANYTHING to be exhausted and fat and barfing (though remind me of this post when I am and I may be singing a different tune).  She's not a Negative Nancy by any means and is genuinely excited about her pregnancy, as she should be, but I cannot stand being slapped in the face with it every time I log on.  I can't say anything to her, and I know this, but I just wish people understood that we don't need updates quite so frequently.  I'm sure to those out there who are not trying or anywhere near the point of children don't appreciate the "bump updates" either.

I mean, announce the pregnancy, great.  Let us know the sex when you find out, sure.  Post an ultrasound picture here or there, perfect.  Maybe you had a maternity photo shoot, throw some of those up for good measure too.  But I honestly don't need to know that your maternity jeans don't fit yet or that you're craving a slurpee today.  Nor do I need to see the weekly belly shots.  This is all what blogs are for, and you have one.  I know, because you posted that on FB too.

Now, I know I have a different perspective on all of this and things may have been completely different had I not had any problems in this department.  I may have been the one buggin the sh*t out of all of you on FB with pictures of my big ol' belly painted to look like a Jack O' Lantern on Halloween (true story-although different person) and hourly status updates on my ability or inability to button my pants (though, I could already start that one....currently, unbuttoned, but I just ate lunch!). So I haven't, nor will I, said anything to the "offenders." But I needed to get it out, vent a bit, and have something to remind me to keep it simple on Facebook WHEN we do have awesome news to share.

That's all folks.  Phew, I get wordy when I don't post much! :)

Dun dun da dun!

Here it is folks! the post you've been waiting for!  The wedding!!!! I'm not gonna lie, I have less than desirable pictures from our wedding.  This is one thing I will tell all future brides as long as I live: hire the best photographer out there.  If there is one thing to splurge on that is it.  So, I've tried to pick the best pictures I have on my computer and I now realize I don't have any of the ceremony itself.  I know somewhere we must.  It does make me sad that there aren't any truly frame-worthy shots out of the whole bunch, but the memories of the day itself will last a lifetime.  Hands down, the best day of my life so far!

I'm going to let the pictures do most of the talking! Let's start with the decor.

 Our ceremony site.

 A cocktail table with a view of the aisle.

Some of our BEAUTIFUL centerpieces.



 One of the food areas.

 The mashed potato bar area.

 I think this was an hour'douvre (how the heck is that spelled?!?) area inside.

 The head table. One of my favorite parts of the wedding!!!!

 A view of the rest of the tables.

 My beautiful mom next to the gorgeous wreath that greeted guests as they entered the back yard.

 The awesome Sherry strutting down the aisle!

 How the food was set up.

 Our Grand Entrance and another view of how the food was set up.

 The cake area.

The dance floor.

Now for some fun photos! These are way out of order but I don't have the patience to fix them!

 First Kiss

 Bridal Party

 Looking at my old, borrowed, blue, new things.

 Adorable flower girl.

 Artistic photography???

 My brother and sister

 After cake cutting

 Toast with the bridesmaids

 Super cheese moment with my mom

 Final touches

 Father daughter dance

 Lucky catchers!

 Get it.

 First glimpse of my bouquet

 Telling her not to lose the ring.

 I married a HOT guy.

 The ladies

 The gentlemen.

 My sister made each of the bridesmaids their necklaces!

 Poppin' Bottles!

 Niece Ashley

 I was so nice!

Happily married!

Anniverasry Week Day 3-Rehearsal Dinner!

Pardon the interruption! We had some unforseen circumstances yesterday that prevented me from posting.  I'll fill you all in on that a little later.

The Rehearsal and Dinner!

Since the wedding was held in my parent's backyard the overhaul of the house and yard went all the way up until the day of the wedding.  I'd be lying if I said there were not people hauling out garbage and painting as we rehearsed the wedding ceremony the day before!  My dad's cousin Rick (my second cousin???) was our officiant and our florsit Sherry was also our coordinator.  They got our rehearsal going and kept us all on track.

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So, apparently when adding pictures from Shutterfly they show up as their own post.  So......see the post with the rehearsal pictures for this post's visual aids!

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After our rehearsal we all headed to Angelo & Vinci's Italian restaurant in Downtown Fullerton for a very fun and very delicious dinner!

Wedding

Click here to view these pictures larger

Anniversary Week Day 2: Shower and Bachelorette

Yay! I'm so excited to have a plan for this week's posts!  I don't post much because I never feel like I have anything interesting to write about so a plan REALLY helps!

I had great bridesmaids who planned some really fun wedding festivities for me.  My sister, Megan, was my Maid of Honor, but at 14 years old she could only plan so much by herself.  My other bridesmaids, Erin, Stefanie, Katie and Jessica came to her rescue!

My Bridal Shower was held in July at the Dominguez home and was really fun.  The girls had very cute decorations and fun little games planned.  There was great food and of course, presents!

I think Ashley, my niece and Flower Girl, won the game where you can't say "Bride." She was VERY excited to be able to play with the grown ups!

Next up was my Bachelorette Party.  The girls planned a very fun evening!  First we had dinner at Roman Cucina in Downtown Fullerton and my sister and mom and a couple of my friends mom's joined us.  Then the older and younger ladies left us to go have some fun on the town.  We took a limo to the Brea Improv where Erin, who worked there at the time, was able to get us a front row table.  We saw some very funny comics who noticed that I was a bachelorette and didn't fail to mention this in their acts!  After we took the limo to a club in Newport and then back to erin's house for a sleepover.

I have GREAT girlfriends who really knew how to take care of me when it came to my wedding festivities!

Up tomorrow, the Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner.  Thursday, the Wedding itself, and Friday, the Honeymoon and how we've celebrated each of our anniversaries so far!

Anniversary Week!!!!

I know, I know.....it's been too long since I've updated.  Lot's going on.  Too much to recap.  Instead I'm going to take you down memory lane!

Our 4th wedding anniversary is this Thursday so I thought I'd reminisce a little bit about our wedding festivities!

I think I'll start with the Proposal!

Lee proposed on December 24th 2004 at an annual family Christmas Eve party hosted by the Dominguez family that my family has been attending since before I was born!  At the time we were living in Orange with Stefanie and had made plans to meet up with her later at the Dominguez party.  First we had to go to Lee's Aunt Ris and Uncle Bill's house for their annual Christmas Eve celebration.  Apparently everyone there knew what was in store for me later that evening but I had no idea!

When we got to the Dominguez's house I helped Lee get dressed in a Santa Claus costume that he had told me he was wearing because Lisa Dominguez had asked him to dress up for the kids in. I was filling up a stocking with candy canes and little did I know but the ring was at the bottom of the stocking.  Lee was apparently freaking out by now, thinking that either I already knew or would very soon find the ring and the whole plan would be ruined.

I went in the house ahead of him to help with the "surprise for the kids" and when he came inside he started handing out candy canes by the fistful and saying "HO HO HO!"

I was laughing with friends and was standing near the garage door when he came up to me and pulled off the beard.  I can't really tell you what he said after that but at some point there was a ring and him on one knee and me crying and saying "What the F***?!?"  (classy). I was TOTALLY surprised!

There was lots of hugs and shots of tequila after that!

I. am. BORED.

I honestly have nothing interesting to post. But I am bored.  This is summer at my job.

Ummmmm, we went to Lee's 10 year HS reunion this past Saturday.  That was fun.  I have a planningmeeting for my own reunion tonight.  I'm really not looking forward to that.  I can't believe it has been 10 years already.  I feel old. And bored.  Did I mention that?

Not even sure if it is worth blogging since it's been so long, but I had another miscarriage about a month ago. I had written the post about finding out and was saving it until we had told everyone.  Now I can't decide if I should just delete it or save it in my drafts as a reminder I guess.  I'm doing much better both physically and emotionally this time around.  What a difference a good doctor makes.  I'm pretty confident we won't have to deal with this again.  I'm just very anxious to get to next time already.  I went to a soroity sister's engagement party on Saturday night (in San Diego and then drove back for Lee's reunion, long night) and found out that my Grand Li'l Sis (who just got married in March) is pregnant but on bed rest. While I'm super jealous that it was seemingly pretty easy for her to get prgenant right away, I'm praying that everything will be okay for her and the baby.  She and I would have had almost the same due date. I also found out that my Li'l Sis and her husband have just started trying.  It's nice to have someone to talk to about the frustrations that come with this journey.

Anywhoooooo, that's about it.  I can't think of anything else to write........and I'm still bored. ;)

Choices

Holy Crap!  I just found out that the Tousignant's have a pretty huge decision to make in the next week that could potentially effect a lot of our life and lifestyle.  Can't go into specifics just yet but it is job related.

I've worked for my dad for almost 5 years now and the whole time have dealt with a less than desirable coworker situation.  I've bitched aout it for the last 5 years too.  Things are starting to change, for the better has not been determined just yet, but change is coming.  This has the potential to make my stress level change-though not neccessaily lessen-in a huge way.  Trying to remain positive has been the hardest part of the whole situation.

This change would in turn effect Lee's work situation, which is why the "better" aspect is yet to be determined.  While I would love to get rid of said coworker, making them my husband's problem was not the plan.

Then 5 minutes ago I get a call from Lee.  An opportnity may be out there for him to make a change.  This change has MANY pros and cons.  A big list making session is in our future.  The opportunity has the potential for a bigger income but with that comes a GREATLY increased workload, probably for the both of us.  I just got to the point this year where I stood up for myself and said I would not work excessive hours.  But if we made this change we would both have to work a lot more.  But then I go back to the $$$.

Ahhhhh! I hate choices!  Just tell me what to do.  :)

Media Monday

I forgot about my themed days!!!

MUSIC

Friday night we went to an O.A.R. show at the Wiltern and ever since I can't get them off my playlist!

I also discovered a little cover by Colbie Callait of the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back."

LOVE it!  If you don't have it already go download it from iTunes.  Do it now, you'll thank me later! :)

TV

Umm, Lost is ending this week and this makes me sad.  It's been soooooo good this season and I am super excited to find out where it's all been headed.

I'm also a big fan of Tori and Dean.  Lee hates it but it's a definite guilty pleasure!

MOVIES

Haven't seen any lately but have a bunch on my list.

Iron Man 2

Robin Hood

Letters to Juliet

Date Night

The Backup Plan

Not out yet but can't wait!

Sex and the City 2

(mostly this part!!!! sigh.....)

Eclipse

Get Him to the Greek and Prince of Persia also look interesting.

It never too late....

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot

I like this.  I need to start thinking this way.  It's never too late.  It's never too late to be happy.  It's never too late to have fun.  It's never too late to have kids.  I think that is the loudest thing in my head right now.  That damn clock ticking away.  It's so loud sometimes it's the only thing I can hear.  I need to hit snooze and realize it's never too late.  I'm not that old or old at all.  I'm 27.  Women are having kids at age 70 (that might be too late)! I need to start living in the moment, living for today. I need to stop constantly thinking 9 months in the future. 

I need to be happy today with all of the gifts I have.  I am blessed with a wonderful family, a job, a home and food on the table, friends whom I love dearly, a puppy that despite his random acts of eating is the best thing to snuggle next to on a gloomy day like today, and most of all a partner in life who loves me unconditionally and takes care of me better than anything I could have ever asked for.

"Each day is a gift." -O.A.R.

By Now....

By now I should have a baby.  I should have a 10 day old baby by now.  I don't.

By now I should be pregnant.  I should be pretty far along.  I'm not.

It's really hard to think of what could or should have been.  My due date was last week.  I've tried to ignore that fact.  It hasn't been easy.  I went to the dentist on Tuesday and had a new hygenist.  She read my chart and I had told them two visits ago I was pregnant.  Two visits ago was August 17th.  Little did I know that morning that by the end of the day I wouldn't be any more. 

The new hygenist either didn't read the rest of my chart or they didn't write in there during my last visit that I wasn't pregnant any more.  She seemed confused on Tuesday.  She said she did the math, I didn't look big, maybe there was a mistake.

There was.  I should have a baby by now.  That is the mistake.

Everyone said "It will happen."  And people even told me it could happen again right away.  My body "wanted to be pregnant."  It's "very common to get pregnant again right away after a miscarriage."  I didn't.  I'm not.  And I'm beyond frustrated and depressed about this.  This is the source of many fights with my husband who is trying so hard.  It breaks my heart to see him blame himself.  It breaks my heart to not understand why my body does the the things it does.  It breaks my heart to have no control over the situation or the way my mind works.  By now my heart should be full of love.  Not broken.

By now....

Puppies and Rainbows and Sunshine and Unicorns

Okay, this post will not be sunshine and rainbows.  You've been warned.

I was in a fine mood today until 5 minutes ago.  A vendor that we use for paper products stopped by to drop off an order and asked me when I was due.  This guy is a total weirdo and a total talker, you can never get him to shut up and leave.  He just had a total foot in mouth moment with me and wouldn't just shut up and get out.  He had the nerve to tell me that I shouldn't wear the shirt I'm wearing because it makes me look big. He said, and I quote, "Tell your husband to get you new clothes." Then he proceeded to give me his entire family's health history to explain their weights, etc.  This guy is no slim jim.  He's younger than my dad but looks at least 10 years older and is heavy set.  Shut the fuck up dude.  You just insulted me and you won't just leave?!?!?!  The nerve of some people.  He even proceeded to tell me to be careful when I do get pregnant because his daughter in law put on 80 pounds over her 4 pregnancies and hasn't lost any of the weight.  Fuck right off dude.

I don't even think this shirt is bad.  I probably wasn't standing up straight and when I slouch I have a little pooch.  Whatever.  So annoyed.

Also, if I hear of one more person who gets pregnant on "accident" or, even better, "on birth control" I may shoot someone.  So unfair and so bullshit. I don't think the people "on birth control" know what they are talking about.  Are you sure you didn't miss a few pills that pack?  I could get started on my feelings about how fair this whole pregnancy thing is, but I'll spare you.

Sorry, have a lot of emotions running through my brain lately. 

Another thing.  I love my friends.  And I love my friends with kids.  But the next time they talk to me about the horrors of child birth.....so help me.......I get it.  It hurts.  It's like nothing you've ever done before.  No one ever tells you this or that...blah blah blah. Let me find out on my own, thanks.  You're not helping me or making me feel any better about the whole idea.  Also, you're not scaring me.  I'm pretty sure I could have figured out it would hurt.  I also know that I still want to do it.  A few times, actually.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Hi Universe.  I get that you think you are so funny. Ha ha.  Now move on.   I'd like to get pregnant now.  Thanks."

And God, I know I should have NEVER said I didn't want a baby born in December.  A baby born anytime is a blessing.  I'm sorry about that.  So, I'm ready for my December baby now.  Let's make it happen this month.  Thanks! ;)

Catch Up....Not Ketchup.

Not so little known fact about me-I despise ketchup.  It thouroughly grosses me out.  The smell-just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to vomit. Yuck yuck yuck.

Moving on, we've had quite a busy month since my last post.  I really do apologize for not blogging more.  Work has been insane and then every time I get a moment free and contemplate blogging I cannot think of a single interesting thing to say. Tonight is no different, but I felt like it couldn't wait any longer.

The Friday after the super bowl we hosted the Appetizer portion of a Valentine's Progressive Dinner with the Fergusons and Berrey-Franks.  Friends came over and had good drinks and good food as we "condo crawled" through the night.  It was a lot of fun!

We celebrated an awesome Valentine's day with brunch at El Torito-$15 unlimited Champagne Brunch? Yes, please!-got it a quick visit to the pool on an unusally warm February day, had couple's massages and then finished the night off with dinner at Zov's bistro.  It was a great Valentine's day with my Love!

Oh, our beloved Gus, the Beta fish, was under the weather for some time and had an unfortunate run in with Noah's shoulder at the Progressive Dinner and never recovered.  He was laid to rest in a water ceremony with Taps playing him off to sea.  He will be missed, but his understudy, Walter, is enjoying the new digs that Gus only got to experience for 1 short day.  Walter is quite pretty and we've discovered some new fish tricks with him.

But, I digress....The next weekend we went to see a charity comedy show in LA with friends.  Will Ferrel hosted and it was a lot of fun!  This past weekend while some of our friends were away in Aspen, some other friends were moving into new homes!  Maren and Shireen moved into a very chicly decorated apartment in Anaheim right by the stadium, and we got to check it out on Saturday night before we went to dinner at The Catch.  Mike and Ashley moved in (together!!!) to the apartment right next door to Mike's old place in the Circle.  We stopped by on Sunday to offer some help with getting them settled and bring them some very important beer.  Their place was coming together nicely and is so cute!

My car should be here any day now!!!!! On Sunday we signed all of the paperwork so I can just go pick it up when it does get here!  We leave for Reno for the CADA (California Activities Directors Association) conference tomorrow morning and then go from there up to visit Katie, Bobby and finally meet Ben in Tahoe on Friday.  We come home on Sunday night.

I've been feeling super weird lately.  I can't exactly explain it but I've woken up almost every morning feeling hungover-but I haven't had anything to drink (except for a few sips on Saturday night) in a week. Very weird.  A lot of things are making me feel even more confident about this month being the month, but I'll know a lot more tomorrow.  I should get my period tomorrow, but crossing my fingers I don't!

Also, I am super excited for this week's Office!!!! Jim and Pam are having the baby! :)

Anyway, a hodge podge of a post, but now we're all caught up!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.....

Whoooo-eeeeeee!  It has been a crazy 2 weeks at work.  It's deadline season so in between dealing with crazy parents on the phone and getting orders in I haven't had much time to blog.  I've had to bring work home 2 or 3 nights a week and worked most of the day last Saturday.  :(

What's happened in the time off since blogging?  Well.....my car died.  It's officially the most annoying car on the planet right now.  About 2 weeks ago on my way home from work the clutch burned out.  I was going up a hill and about halfway up just couldn't anymore.  So after rolling it backwards and around two corners to a safe place to park, I had to call my mom to meet me so I could "borrow" her AAA to get it towed.  I had it towed to my parent's house and have been driving my brother's truck ever since.  The night I picked it up from the Auto shop (last Friday) and paid $1035 to get that clutch replaced I got about a mile and half away and the car then started overheating.  Perfect.  I couldn't get it all the way home that night so we left it parked at Home Depot and crossed our fingers that it would get stolen and I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore!  Alas, it was still there on Saturday afternoon when we went to get it and we took it to Pep Boys to see what the new problem was.  Something about a water pump and $2000 told me that this was now a lost cause.  We decided to not get it fixed and will be trading it in once my Equinox gets here.  March cannot come soon enough!!!!

The Superbowl was this past weekend and we celebrated with friends at the Olsen's house.  I brought some cupcakes to commemorate the game but "my" team, the Colts, did not end up winning. :(  My boyfriend, Peyton, had a rough night.

Tomorrow night we are hosting the Apperteeze portion of a Valentine's Progressive Dinner with friends.  I'm still trying to figure out what to make but I know my heart shaped cookie cutter will make an appearance!  Saturday we're (FINALLY) getting our carpets cleaned.  They are so gross-I am super excited! And to celebrate Valentine's Day on Sunday we will be getting a couple's massage!

Oh yeah, it's Thursday!  I sure am Thankful for work slowing down!  I will be even happier once summer arrives!  I also can't wait for warmer weather so I can wear cute clothes again.  I'm so sick of jeans and sweatshirts but it's been too cold for anything less!

On the "becoming three" front-I am feeling very optimistic about this month.  I can't really explain it but I have a great feeling about things.  It's way too early to know anything but hopefully around the 26th I will have some answers!!!!!

Phew! Glad to be back!

So sorry....

Completely CRAZY at work right now.  I hope to catch up over the weekend and then get back into blogging.

I miss it. :(

Media Monday

I've been wanting to post this theme for a few weeks now but I haven't been able to blog the past few Mondays!  On Media Mondays I want to talk about music, movies or tv shows that have caught my attention lately.

Music

I recently bought the 500 Days of Summer and My Sister's Keeper soundtracks on iTunes.  I LOVE a lot of the songs on those two soundtracks.  A few of my favorites are:

• Us-Regina Spektor
• Sweet Disposition-The Temper Trap (this one is also in the ads for the new Shark lawyer show on ABC)
• You Make My Dreams-Hall & Oates

This was also a cute movie.  Weird endiing but some super cute parts.  Especially enjoyed the dance sequence to that last song! :)

• Feels Like Home-Edwina Hayes
• Life Is Beautiful-Vega 4
• Girls Just Want To Have Fun-Greg Laswell

This was a sad movie.  I was kind of dissapointed that they changed the ending from the book but the topic is still very sad. 

Movies

We saw Avatar on Friday night. Let's just say I wasn't really a fan.  Way too long. The theater was about 12 degrees and the chairs were terrible.  I did catch myself thinking "pretty colors" quite a few times.  So, yes, it's a beautiful film.  I just wasn't as impressed as all the hype made it out to be.

I want to see When In Rome with Josh Duhmel (yummy) and Kristen Bell. Maybe that will be our next movie night!

Television

Last night I watched the Lifetime movie Pregnancy Pact.  Holy terrible. 

That's all I have to say about that.

What music, movies and tv shows have caught your interest lately?

Happy Monday! :)